An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.
Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.
That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. Well, dear, what exactly did he say?
He said the reflector is broken.
I can fix that in two minutes. What else?
I'm not sure, Jacob ... something about the emergency brake...
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Vouched For By a Dog
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.
He wrote: I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well- groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote:
"I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel.
And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too.
He wrote: I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well- groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote:
"I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel.
And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Symptoms of a Bad Day
… your twin sister forgets your birthday.
… you wake up face down on the pavement.
… you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
… you call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
… you see a “60 Minutes news team” waiting in your outer office.
… your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
… your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
… you want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, and there aren’t any.
… you turn on the TV news and they’re displaying emergency routes out of your city.
… you wake up face down on the pavement.
… you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
… you call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
… you see a “60 Minutes news team” waiting in your outer office.
… your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
… your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
… you want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, and there aren’t any.
… you turn on the TV news and they’re displaying emergency routes out of your city.
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