Horse Jokes

Q: What do race horses eat?
A: Fast Food.

Q: What did the waiter say to the horse?
A: I can't take your order. That's not my stable.

Q: What's the quickest way to mail a little horse?
A: Use the Pony Express.

Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane.

Q: How do you make a small fortune in the horse industry?
A: Start with a large fortune.

Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz

Q: How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse?
A: With Southern Horspitality!

Q: Where do horses get their hair done?
A: Maine.

Q: What do you call 144 horses in a box?
A: Gross!

Q: Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?
A: In the pasture

Q: What kind of horses go out after dusk?
A: Nightmares!

Q: What do you call a noisy horse?
A: A herd animal.

Q: How do you get a horse drunk?
A: Drink him under the stable.

Q: What did the horse say when it fell?
A: "I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"

Fore!

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"

The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." And asks the keeper:
"What's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving school children from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"